Point: These New Crocs are Totally Kickass!
Counterpoint: You Look Like a Tool.
Greg Berman
Issue date: 10/24/08 Section: Opinion
|
By Chris Daniels
Hey, I couldn't help but notice you were looking at my feet. Don't worry you're not the only one. I'd probably be looking at my feet too if I were you, because, as you no doubt have already noticed, these Crocs are totally kickass!
I know they may look a bit odd at first, but take my word for it: nothing equals the comfort of Crocs. Not only are they well ventilated, but they have these neat little ridges on the bottom that feel sooo good on your feet. Also, unlike sandals, Crocs never chaffe, in fact that back strap is totally optional. Talk about customizability! I know they may not be the most stylish footwear in the world but the bright colors are fun! Besides, who am I trying to be? Madonna?!
Anywho, what these crocs may lack in style they totally make up for in function. I can do just about anything in them, and if they get wet its no big deal. What other piece of footwear can boast such functional durability?
Oh that? I was hoping you would ask about that. That's what we Croc-wearers call a Jibbitz. It's like a little decoration that you pop in between the holes on your Croc, just to add some extra flair! I got that little basketball one for free but I plan on buying a few more; I want to get a little tennis racket (my favorite sport) and maybe a peace sign. I imagine now you're starting to see that Crocs are more than just a shoe, they're a medium of self-expression!
As you can see the advantages of Crocs are countless. Once I even heard that they were edible, but I don't know if I'm gonna try that quite yet! Seriously though, take it from me, Crocs are the way to go. Can you name another shoe that provides the same levels of comfort, versatility, individual style AND functionality? I didn't think so.
Counterpoint: You Look Like a Tool
by Greg Berman
I wasn't going to say anything at first, but I feel like this has gone on long enough. Someone was bound to tell you eventually and I figure it might as well be me. Fact is, those things make you look like a douche. Don't give me that bullshit about comfort or versatility either. Those could be the most comfortable and versatile shoes in the universe and you would still look like a total dipshit. Besides, there is no way that a shoe made out of some cheap rubber substance could really be that comfortable.
Be the first to comment on this story