Drug Bust at Brown; Apparently Greenhouse is Used for Something
Alexander Hare
Issue date: 4/24/09 Section: Campus Life
"Fucking DPS, man," lamented Sanderson. "I can't tell you how many times I've smoked those heads up." Sanderson says he was celebrating a three-year net profit of over $1,000,000 by smoking a "monster J" when DPS arrested him. "This officer I know walked in and was like, 'the gig's up, dude.' I was like, "Duuudddee. Noooooo."
Sanderson was on track to graduate this spring with a degree in an independently created double concentration in Herbology and Duderonomy. The concentration was comprised mainly of repeated viewings of "The Big Lebowski" and required proficiency in making White Russians. Suffice it to say, Sanderson will no longer be planning on walking through the Van Wickle gates a second time.
When asked how he felt about his actions, Sanderson showed little remorse. "Well man, you know man… I don't regret what I did. I gave the people what they wanted. Supply and demand. That's Econ 11: Principles of Economics, bitch."
The University could not be reached for comment on this story.
Sanderson was on track to graduate this spring with a degree in an independently created double concentration in Herbology and Duderonomy. The concentration was comprised mainly of repeated viewings of "The Big Lebowski" and required proficiency in making White Russians. Suffice it to say, Sanderson will no longer be planning on walking through the Van Wickle gates a second time.
When asked how he felt about his actions, Sanderson showed little remorse. "Well man, you know man… I don't regret what I did. I gave the people what they wanted. Supply and demand. That's Econ 11: Principles of Economics, bitch."
The University could not be reached for comment on this story.
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Nashua Movers
posted 7/09/09 @ 4:05 PM EST
Amusing story, but I'm confused. The story is clearly fictional but it's not April Fool's day. I guess any day can be publish-a-funny-article day...
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