The Brown Noser

Issue date: 4/24/09 Section: Off Campus

Media Credit: Michael Frederickson Next week's address is rumored to be an adaptation of the music video, Single Ladies

On Saturday, President Barack Obama held his weekly YouTube address to the nation, attempting to reach out to America's youth through one of the most popular channels available. "At this historic juncture, the American people are watching and waiting for us to lead," said Obama as he hopped back and forth on a series of treadmills while setting off a chain reaction of Diet Coke and Mentos.

The President continued, "These investments are a central part of a comprehensive strategy to grow this economy by attacking the very problems that have dragged it down." He then wondered aloud about a mysterious ticking noise before being interrupted by the music video for Rick Astley's 1987 classic "Never Gonna Give You Up."

The video, a crucial component of the President's media blitz to gather support for his controversial and unprecedented budget proposal, was the latest in a series of similarly desperate pleas for attention from the administration. The weekly addresses began on November 18, 2008 when the President posted his first video from a Shanghai internet café to thank Americans for their support and acknowledge the serious challenges ahead while lip-syncing and emoting to "I Want It That Way."

According to a high-ranking source within the White House, the addresses were the brainchild of campaign mastermind and Senior Advisor to the President David Axelrod. The official, who spoke to The Noser on condition of anonymity, explained: "We all think this is a great way to get the attention of people who otherwise would be more interested in watching a five-second clip of a dramatic chipmunk than being involved in politics. And maybe if we do this well enough, we'll rack up more views than Sneezing Panda!"

But other prominent politicos, Democrats and Republicans alike, questioned the use of going public through such a medium. Said former Vice President Al Gore, "A President rickrolling an entire nation? I did not invent the internet for this." And in a bipartisan nonbinding resolution last December, Senators Ted Kennedy, D-MA, and John McCain, R-AZ, asked, "What the hell is a YouTube?"

The administration, however, appeared to be unfazed by such criticism, steadily releasing clips ranging from a dubbed G.I. Joe episode about the Senate filibuster process to a race in politics dialogue with Tay Zonday. "Listen, when you're competing against the likes of Andy Samberg and Benny Lava, you've gotta pull out all the stops," said our anonymous official. "LEAVE BARACK ALONE!!!!" sobbed another.

Said Obama himself, "I didn't come here to pass on our problems to the next President or the next generation - I came here to solve them. And if that means having to do the Numa Numa dance while holding a laughing baby on a motherfuckin' boat, then so be it."

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