No, I Won't Watch Your Laptop
A.J. Warren
Issue date: 12/4/09 Section: Opinion
It's another late night in the Sciences Library and you're starting to crash. First Year Seminars are really tough, and you have to read a whole two paragraphs about Asian American sexuality in the late 1970's before tomorrow's group final. As your eyes begin close, you realize that it's time to shuffle upstairs and grab a fresh cup of fairly traded coffee. You turn to me and…
The answer is no. I won't watch your laptop. Nope. Not even for a quick second, and I don't care if you will be right back. Why? Well, I'm really busy over here. I have Addictinggames.com up, and I'm working my way back to the glory days with a little Tetris. Other than that, you might notice my Econ 11 textbook open on the desk here. No, I'm not in Econ 11…it's freshmen bait. Works like a charm. "Oh, are you in this class?" Uh, yea, I am. And I'm HIV negative, want to watch a movie?
The point is, if you see me in the SciLi or in the Rock studying hard, the answer is no, I won't watch your laptop. To be honest, do you really want me watching it? What do you expect me to do if someone were to try and steal it? I just met you five seconds ago, and now you expect me to throw down on some punk over your laptop while you check out the attractive girl who works nights in the Friedman café (you know who you are, I know you want me too)? I'm not Batman; I'm just a kid in the SciLi who likes to browse Failblog and occupy an entire study room so that I can watch Youtube with the sound on.
Anyway, your laptop looks old-you would be happy if somebody stole it. Better yet, why don't I steal it for you… your parents can buy you a Macbook Pro and you can give me the free iPod.
The answer is no. I won't watch your laptop. Nope. Not even for a quick second, and I don't care if you will be right back. Why? Well, I'm really busy over here. I have Addictinggames.com up, and I'm working my way back to the glory days with a little Tetris. Other than that, you might notice my Econ 11 textbook open on the desk here. No, I'm not in Econ 11…it's freshmen bait. Works like a charm. "Oh, are you in this class?" Uh, yea, I am. And I'm HIV negative, want to watch a movie?
The point is, if you see me in the SciLi or in the Rock studying hard, the answer is no, I won't watch your laptop. To be honest, do you really want me watching it? What do you expect me to do if someone were to try and steal it? I just met you five seconds ago, and now you expect me to throw down on some punk over your laptop while you check out the attractive girl who works nights in the Friedman café (you know who you are, I know you want me too)? I'm not Batman; I'm just a kid in the SciLi who likes to browse Failblog and occupy an entire study room so that I can watch Youtube with the sound on.
Anyway, your laptop looks old-you would be happy if somebody stole it. Better yet, why don't I steal it for you… your parents can buy you a Macbook Pro and you can give me the free iPod.
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